One of the things I’ve been making an effort to incorporate into my daily routine is a practice of offering compliments, praise, and gratitude to the people around me. I’ve set this up in two ways (using Habitica, my behavior-modifier/task-organizer of choice). The first is a daily task called “Express sincere gratitude” and the second is a daily task called “Spread the love”. I find that practicing with these tasks increases my awareness of the good things people do for me and around me, which bolsters my happiness. And it also gives me the chance to spread around my appreciation for the special people in my life in an ongoing way, which makes me feel happier and more confident in my social connections.

What I have found interesting and surprising lately is how this practice is also supporting me in learning to accept compliments, praise, and expressions of affection with more grace. A bit of poking around on the internet suggests to me that accepting compliments is surprisingly hard work! I found a whole wiki on how to do it: (How to Accept Praise) And ran across this quote: “Sociolinguists have found that Americans respond to compliments with a deflecting response a whopping two-thirds of the time.” in a blog article that I found quite relevant to my thinking on the topic – (How to Accept a Compliment with Class)

I know that there have been situations in the past where someone’s compliment caught me off guard, and I felt really awkward about how to respond appropriately. But now that I’m getting into the habit of offering praise, I find it easier and easier to accept. Expressing sincere gratitude makes it easier for me to hear that sincerity from others, and respond in a way that leaves both of us feeling good. And that’s the key–taking a moment to really hear what someone is saying, and let it sink in. Allow someone’s positive opinion a little space. Once you have that piece in place, a gracious response is natural, not something that has to be learned by rote or used with forced politeness.

How about you? Do you find positive comments easy or difficult to accept? Why do you think that is?

(This cat takes compliments, but don’t try to touch that fluffy belly–she has her ATTACK FACE on!)