Self-Advocacy 

Balance is an important key in relationships, and one of the ways that it can be tough to maintain is when one person’s wants and needs tend to get pushed to the bottom of the pile. Is that person you? Have you been forgetting to speak up, and advocate for the things you want and need? Do you tend to put yourself last? Certainly silence is more comfortable, but it’s not necessarily healthy. This month is a great time to work on shifting out of that habit.

Start with small renegotiations. Is the music just a little too loud? Is the temperature not quite right? Consider advocating for your comfort instead of ‘putting up with it’ so as not to bother others. Maybe you’ll have larger issues to tackle with people. Finding the courage to speak up is what’s important for this challenge, not results. It’s very normal for people around you who are used to having things their way most of the time to push back when you start asking for more. Try not to take it personally! This doesn’t mean they dislike you, or think your needs are unimportant. They’re just not used to you having such a strong advocate! The people who are most worth your while will be cheering you on, even if this new trend makes life a little tougher for them. This challenge offers a chance to build emotional and relational health and balance.

Habit:

Speak up for what you want and need

Say no to something that isn’t right for you

To Do:

Share in the Living Vividly guild your experience with advocating for yourself!

Reflection:

As I had expected, this challenge was hard, both for me and for many of my guildmembers. We all did so good though! Even just a little nudge here and there, small moments of considering our own welfare as equally important to that of others, is a worthwhile accomplishment. I planned this challenge for September because I knew I was going on a vacation where I’d be staying with relatives who are less familiar with my invisible disability, and I’d have plenty of opportunities to speak up for myself if I was going to have the most restorative time possible! (And it went really well.)