December 2025 Update:

Since I originally started dipping into this topic and made the following post, it has come to my attention that there’s some controversy over the whole notion of a “Highly Sensitive personality type” and people are saying that even Elaine Aron herself later came to the conclusion that she was autistic and avoiding that label at first perhaps for internalized ablism reasons.

My current thinking about my own identity is that I have some unspecified, undiagnosed, perhaps even undiagnosable neurodivergence (as it impacts my functioning in life in ways that I can compensate for with a fair measure of success). But some of the features of it certainly include a more sensitive than average nervous system, a predisposition towards anxious nervous system activation that I often manage by leaning on routine, and a need for extra processing time in the event of a change in plans. It also includes sensory sensitivity that I savor– and an attention to detail that enriches both my experience of the world and my poetry.

Original post:

This fall I’ve been on an interesting journey of self discovery. A big part of it has been reading and learning about the highly sensitive personality type. I’ve always known that I was somewhat sensitive–I take after my dad in that way. Connecting together the understanding of sensory processing differences I’ve gained through learning from the autistic community, and the sensory sensitivity that underlies this personality type has been fairly groundbreaking for me.

So what’s all the fuss about being Highly Sensitive? You can get a basic idea of the outlines of this trait by taking the online quiz designed by its originator, the psychotherapist Elaine N. Aron, PhD, author of The Highly Sensitive Person (which came out in 1996). The aspects I connect with most are having acute senses (particularly smell, taste, touch, and interoception), processing input slowly but deeply, feeling my emotions strongly, being detail-oriented, and being highly averse to time pressure and to being observed while doing things. I connect moderately to having heightened empathy for others, being sensitive to caffeine or other drugs, and being easily overwhelmed by chaotic or noisy surroundings. Though my hearing is not unusually acute, I am easily overwhelmed by too-loud, harsh, or constant noises.

One of my first realizations was how this sensitivity has played into my difficulty during the pandemic, and the way I ended up burned out and depressed after a year of managing remote school on top of my usual responsibilities. Remember when I was waxing enthusiastic in an earlier post about the concept of adding sensory rest into my self-care? It seems that it is more critical than I had first thought. 

As I do the usual work of diving deep into a subject of interest to me (in addition to reading Dr. Aron’s book, I recently went through Divergent Mind by Jenara Nerenberg, which I’ll share some thoughts on in another post), I’m also working through a lot of reframing of my life’s experiences with being labeled as shy or sensitive, with struggling with overwhelm under time pressure or when faced with new experiences or new challenges, and with what I had previously labeled anxiety or social anxiety in myself.

More thoughts on many related subjects to follow in future posts!

But for now, I’ll leave you with my key revelation: no less than the autistic and sensory processing disorder friends and loved ones in my life, I too deserve some consideration and support, not the shame and blame for being shy, anxious, overwhelmed, or emotional that I was formerly aiming at myself. And if you’re sensitive, you do too.

[Image description–a screenshot of a Twitter post by user glennondoyle, black text on a white background reads:

You’re actually not a mess at all.
You’re just a feeling person in a messy world.
You are exactly right to feel a lot right now.
It does not mean you’re weak- it means you’re strong enough to be paying attention. 
Be gentle with you, please.]