Asking for Help

Asking for help is one of the hardest things we ever do. Our culture prizes capability, ability, individualism, and self-sufficiency so highly. We struggle with feelings of helplessness and shame when we admit we can’t do it all on our own. We fear rejection when we ask for things. We have no room to be seen to need things, to be vulnerable, or to seek the support of people who care for us. Imagine, for a moment, that your ability to ask someone for help is a gift you are giving them: a gift of vulnerability, opportunity, and connection. A gift of knowing exactly what it is you need and want most in that moment. A gift of having the information that they need to be of service to you. Remember how good it feels to help others. Are you brave enough to offer that possibility to the people around you? This challenge offers a chance to weave a stronger social web and practice the other side of the relationship dynamic of helping others—allowing ourselves to ask for some help. Having some practice asking for simple things may make it easier to ask when big things come up, and that’s a skill worth cultivating.

Daily:
Ask for someone’s help in a large or small way today. (A friend, a partner, a friendly sales associate or teacher or family member all might have different kinds of help to offer!)
Express sincere gratitude for someone’s assistance.

Reflection:
I’ve gotten pretty good at asking for help routinely for little things. But I do find that I push myself hard. It requires a real effort for me to take it easy before I’m in pain, or ask for help when I would like it, but don’t desperately need it. It was good to take time this month and reflect on where I am wise enough to tap into my sources of support. (My housemate’s help in the garden has been tremendous this season.) Co-creating beauty and food!