Today I asked for what I needed.

It sounds like a simple thing, and it is. But simple doesn’t mean easy. Showing your vulnerability to another is one of the hardest things I know that’s worth doing. It brings you face to face with the fact that you can’t do everything yourself, that as a part of something greater you are forced to rely on people outside yourself for things you can’t get by without. There is always the possibility that they can’t, or won’t, provide whatever it is you are asking for. By asking, and asking honestly, so that they understand how important it is to you, you’re daring to open up about what matters.

Tomorrow I have to summon another kind of courage, to face the medical establishment on multiple fronts and wrestle what I need out of it. Not everyone needs courage to deal with appointments and phone calls, but I know I’m not alone in this. And it is necessary, and honing my courage is worthwhile, but summer is hard and my resources are low.

Doing necessary things in the face of difficulty is one of the skills that parenting is building in me. Sometimes, this is the essence of maturity: recognizing the necessary thing, and doing it despite its difficulty.

Forwards, friends.