I am in pain today. I didn’t choose to be in pain, and no matter how much I struggle in its grip, I cannot escape it. No matter how carefully I attend to my self-care, I can only soothe it to a point. No matter how much I wish things were different, this is how things are.

I can choose, however, not to suffer. Have you ever stopped to think about the difference between pain and suffering? I define it like this. Pain is a thing that happens to my body, neurons firing, messages traveling the electric highway of my nerves. Suffering happens in my mind. Suffering is how I react to the pain, how I feel about it, how much I struggle against it, wish it away, fight with it.

I cannot choose not to be in pain and have it magically disappear. I can, however, choose to observe this state of my body, accept it, and relax. I can resist the automatic urge to pile negative feelings on top of physical pain. I can set down the struggle, let go of the confounded expectations, release the fight. It takes a lot of focus, a mental effort I can’t always access in the moment. When I can, I choose not to suffer. Today, I am making that choice.

Observe. Accept. Relax.